Time to Talk Day

This wasn't what I was planning on writing about today.  Actually I wasn't planning on writing a blog post at all today.   But here it is anyway!  On reading this post by Julie Kirk I found out that today is Time to Talk day.

Time to talk about what?

Mental Health

In January there are always television programmes, newspaper and magazine articles and new DVDs on sale to encourage us to diet or to get fit.  But mental health is every bit as important as physical health.

I've had mental health issues over the years.  Only of course they weren't called mental health issues back then.

My first dealings with depression came in my 20s.  Real depression - not just feeling down.   I was married (unhappily) and had a 24 mile commute each way to work.   There were so many times when as I drove home I wondered about driving straight on at a particularly nasty right hand bend.  I never did.  I went to the doctor instead.  And he was amazing.  I saw him every week and we talked.  This was my GP not a trained mental health worker and he saw me through it.  Firstly with valium and talking, and then with vitamins and talking.  And I survived.  And I got divorced.

Everything went well for a couple of years and then I got a job where I was bullied.  Only of course it wasn't called bullying back then.  Because it wasn't recognised that adults in authority bullied those in positions below them.  Apparently only children were bullies back then!   One evening I got together all my medications and a bottle of Bacardi and contemplated them.  Then I stood up, poured the Bacardi down the sink, threw the pills in the bin and went to see a friend.  I didn't tell them about what I had planned but we did talk. Talking is so good for you.

The next episode of depression came when I was pregnant.  Everything was going so well.  I was (and am) married to a wonderful, faithful and supportive man, had a good job and was pregnant against the odds the Doctor quoted to me.  I was 36, which in 1986 made me a geriatric primigravida.  So lovely to be called geriatric!  The relaxation classes made me anxious and I would walk out worse than I went in.  The dog died unexpectedly.   The vet thought it was from eating rat poison.

And I thought it was my fault.

How could I look after a baby if I couldn't even look after a dog?   After Andy was born I was referred to a clinical psychologist as it was obvious I didn't have postnatal depression.  I was clinically depressed and was given 2 years of psychotherapy.  These days prenatal depression is a recognised condition.

Since then I have been able to mostly keep the depression in check.  I know when it's creeping up on me and I know what to do so that it doesn't stick around.  I wrote about that in this post about choosing Participate as my 'one word' in 2014.

What I have learned is that bottling up what you feel does you no good.  Find a trusted friend who you can talk to and who will listen without judgement.  Who will talk to you about everything and nothing.

If you have dealt with depression find some good in it.  Your experience can help someone else.  Become a listening friend.  Recognise what someone is going through.  Find a way to see behind the mask.

You see for years everyone thought I had my life together.  I like to be in control!  I have a wonderful husband, fantastic son and daughter-in-law and two handsome grandsons.  I have lovely friends.  A nice house.  Enough money to be able to travel.  You can look at me and see the good life I have.  And it is good.

But sometimes.  Just sometimes.  The facade cracks and the darkness tries to creep in.


For more stories and information:
visit the Time to Change website
follow the #timetotalk hashtag on @timetochange on Twitter
or their @timetochangecampaign on Instagram

Well done if you've stuck with this post today.
Thanks for joining me today.
Bernice

Unlocking the Mystery of Creative Play

I had the privilege last week of spending 5 days at Drewshearne Barn Studio taking part in a workshop called Unlocking the Mystery of Creative Play led by Leslie Morgan.  I was going to blog about it day by day but I've decided to do it by project.

This collage started with the above.  The piece of paper had been cut from the page of a book I made.  I'll blog about the book another time!   I suppose I could have left it at that and maybe stitched into it but i decided to echo the negative space flames but in a different size and colour.

I used some painted paper thast I had taken with me.   The rest of the photos show how I tried out different layouts until I came up with the one I liked best.

And when I had found the design I liked I used an orange Sharpie to put in the faux stitching.

Which one of the layouts did you like best?

Thanks for joining me today.
Bernice

A short update

Just a short post - and only one this week.

Here are the pages from my Everyday Journal.

I have found it very satisfying to list 3 things to do each day and then tick them off.  I know it might look as though I'm cheating by putting Creative Jumpstart in every day but at lease I've remembered to watch the video each day.  Last year I forgot that I was signed up for it!

This week I'm going to Committed to Cloth to do a 5 day course: Unlocking the Mystery of Creative Play.  I am by turns thrilled to be going and very apprehensive.  I am planning to write about each day on the right hand page.

I'm still writing things that I am thankful for.

I am considering adding another word for my year:  Joy.  Either instead of Gratitude or to run alongside it.  I'll let you know what I decide.

Have you got a word for this year?  If so, how are you getting on with it?

Thanks for joining me today.
Bernice