Many of you commented that you felt the same way which encouraged me. So often we sit in our small corner thinking we're the only one. But we're not the only one.
I thought I'd share some of the comments and answer a few of them.
Eva commented: Ultimately if you want to make art you will make art. You need to ask yourself why you will do almost anything to avoid doing the one thing you say you want to do? There is the possibility that you do not want to make art and that is why you cannot commit.
I have considered Eva's last point many times before I wrote the original post. I have asked myself whether giving away all of my art supplies and textile supplies would be the sensible route to take. But I know that I am supposed to be creative. I know that I am good at what I do when I actually get down to it. Plus it isn't just my creative life that I was thinking about in my post. Quite often I feel as though I live on the periphery of my own life. Commitment and vulnerability applies to all areas of life not just creativity. But I am getting there. Especially if I stop saying negative things to myself.
You can read all the other comments on the blog post but I think this from Beverlee summed them all up:
I saw your post via Studio 11 Eastbourne. I really enjoyed reading it - spoke to me in a BIG way! You and I are practically interchangeable in our thoughts (and more thoughts!) and struggle to just DO already! Oh the stories I could tell ... �� I do understand about the "vulnerability" - still working on that in the rest of my life too. In my own creative work experience, I needed to take the "commitment" part one step further - to include in a self-worth piece. That, even in the midst of my struggling, idea filled, planning, course taking, technique searching and overall, unproductive creative life - my creativity and I are worthy of time and commitment. It has been a very, VERY long (and still continuing) process to commit to purposefully setting aside time, then honouring and being respectful of that work time both to myself and in my time with others. Thanks so much for sharing of of yourself Bernice �� keep on moving forward beautifully!
Beverlee, thanks for taking the time and effort to write.
If you don't follow me on Facebook then here are some of the comments:
Karen: It is a real struggle between creative thought, process & product,...I find the more I create, the more it helps clarify what I'm thinking, which in turn, can often create more ideas & thinking...a creatives ongoing conundrum!!
Lorna: Thanks for your lovely words, they have certainly mirrored what I have been doing. I must take risks and instead of thinking, start creating and hopefully be pleased with what I have produced.
Sue: I loved this post Bernice! I can be an over-thinker too! I will frequently work out the problem of a piece in my head for so long that I decide that I no longer need to do it! My encouragement to you is just to run with it-do what comes to your heart. Style, voice-these evolve as you grow and expand as an artist. No matter what you do there will be an element of who you are captured within the work.
I so understand what Sue means about thinking about it for so long that there's no longer a need to do it! When I was a primary school teacher I loved all the planning but by the time I came to teach what I had planned I was bored with it. And that's a risk with my creative work too. I've overthought it for so long that I no longer want to carry on with it.
I had a mentoring follow-up call with Christine last week and we talked through some of these issues. She was such a great encouragement to me. I thoroughly recommend finding a mentor. And following on from the reading of some of the books on creativity, I think it's really important to find like-minded people to meet with and talk to - people who will encourage you in your work - be critical when needed - supportive and understanding. Lorna and I are going to start meeting up on regular basis. Hopefully we will find some other like minded textile peeps who live locally who would like to join us.
Thanks again to all those who read my blog post and a special thanks to those who left comments.
Thanks for stopping by.
Bernice